Tuesday, August 21, 2018

Teacher's Day Skit -Comedy (Gabbar Singh Ki Class) Part 2


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JAILOR :       ha ha .. Main angrezo ke jamaane ka Jailor  thaa..Lekin jab unhone desh chhoda to maine bhi jail chhod dee. Now I am English Teacher but still a jailor from heart. Ha Ha ! EVERY BODY ATTENTION. I SAY ATTENTION !
[every body attention , Jay Sleeping} I say get up !

SACHIN : Ay ..Ay  get up get up . (in a very feeble voice)

VEERU :  Uth Jai,  Uth Jai!
MADAM ji: “Ye to aise so raha hai jaise Mere Bhaashaan se log so te hain ..”
MANNU : “Sahi kaha madamji” (and again put his finger back on his mouth)
SIDDHU AREY Reshamia , UTHA AINU.

RESHAMIA : (starts singing on the tune of "Samjho na Kuch to samjho na " )
“O Saathiya re , O Shahenshah re ,O Kaaliya Re,
Samjho na , Kuch to Samjho Na.
Ye jo  pal tum gaway , laut ke fir naa aye,
Yun jo Sota rah  jaye , yahi class tu  doh ray
Samjho na, kuch to samjho na…Samjho Na.Kuch tooooooo Samjho Na.”
Jay started snoring


Sachin : “Aai Laa ! Ye to form mein aa gaya”
Laloo : “Eee ab aise naahi baa uthega .. Jao Ek gilas bhaatar (water) lekar aao
Sachin brings and Lalloo splash the water on Jay’s face.

{ Jay wakes up with a jump ,looks here & there  & seeing jailor immediately stands in salute }
JAILOR : OH OH SALUTE ! FIRST SLEEPING NOW SALUTE !  You will not change. WHEN I HAVE NOT CHANGED THEN WHAT YOU WILL CHANGE HOGE !”
{ Jai standing in salute }
JAILOR(ASRANI )TURNS BACK : Adhey murga ban jao.{ every body see each other}  Adhey nikal jao. Baaki baith jao. {Everybody sits}

JAILOR : Everybody take out your Test Copy.  
JAY : “Humne to pahle hi nikaal rakhi hai”

{Everybody takes out and start writing}
JAILOR :-Write the scene of Assassination of Julius Caesar ! (and goes to sleep)

[NARRATOR:- Ye angrezo ke jamane ke teacher to Nidra mein chale gaye . Aaiye hum dekhe ki baki ke patra kya kar rahe hain .
Jay poori tayari se likh rahe hain, Reshamia ro-ro kar likh rahe hain,  Thakur apne muh me pen dabakar bahut teji se likh rahe hain, Laloo pata nahi likhne ke bajaye chakki kyun chalr rahe hain, Sidhu apni kursi par uchal uchal kar likh rahe hain , Rancho abhi apne Facebook mein Account hi bana rahe hain, Madamji Mannu ki copy mein jawab talash rahi hain , aur Sambha sabko dekh raha hai ]

 Suddenly Veeru gets up , takes out his shoes and shakes over his head and dozens of chits fall down from his shoe. He quickly searches the right piece , copies the whole answer and put them back. Sambha  takes  his mobile  phone  out and clicks everything and moves secretly towards JAILOR who was sleeping}
Sambha reaches to Jailors’ ear and  speak something )
JAILOR wakes up with Jerk : AAAAAAA ….. (First frightened ) Aaaaooooo…  (Acts like nothing happened and smiles Sambha whispers something in his ears )
JAILOR : Cheating..? Hamare class mein Cheating !(Sambha shows him the pic in  his mobile)
JAILOR: Purchiyaan…?  Humaare class  mein  Purchiyaan  !

HUMARE JASOOS CLASS KE KONE –KONE MAIN FAILE HUEN HAIN.  If anybody cheats ,he can’t escape.(MOVES to VEERU and give him a WHIP)
ALL CHARACTERS STOP AT THEIR POSITION WHEN A VOICE OF BIG  BOSS IS HEARD :
“HAMARA SHOW KISI BHI PRAKAR KI HINSA KO BADAWA NAHI DETA. YE MATRA MANORANJAN KE LIYE HAI” (Everybody looks here and there to know from where the voice was coming)
Siddhu : “NAKAL KARKE PAAS SE BEHTAR , FAIL TOO HO JA,
                        APNI AKAL PAR BHAROSA KAR , AUR CHAIN SE SO JAA “
Veeru : “I am sorry !”
JAILOR :  Okay !  Now Stop writing everybody. 
Jay : “Humne to pahle hi band kar di hai”

JAILOR Listens :Achaaaa ! Jara batao to Julius Caesar kaun tha (in very singing tone )

(Jay gets up, leans forward and put his one hand on his waist and starts)


Jay : “See …..Julius Caesar Rome ka MAHAAN SHAHENSHAH tha , SHAHENSHAH..aur Brutus uska DESH-PREMI dost tha. Magar unke is YAARANA ke beech mein Cassius ne CHUPKE- CHUPKE DEEWAR khadi kar di aur usko MAJBOOR kar diya ki wo apne dost ke seene mein TRISHOOL ghop de  so that wo khud Rome ka DON ban jaye..


(English version :Jay : “See …..Julius Caesar was a MAHAAN SHAHENSHAH of Rome , SHAHENSHAH..and Brutus was his DESH-PREMI friend.. But Cassius conspired against him CHUPKE CHUPKE and raised DEEWAR between their  YAARANA ... and made Brutus MAJBOOR and made him stab TRISHOOL to Caesar so that he himself becomes  DON of Rome..)


 Magar ye ho na saka..kyunki uske ek NAMAK HALAL sewak Antony ne kaha…” (then looks all around)
Sachin: “Usne kya kaha , batao na ?”
Jay : “Usne kaha”
Veeru : “Kya Jay Kya ?”
Jay : “He tells … MEN, ROMANS, COUNTRY MEN ruler ho to Caesar jaisa ho nahi to na ho !” (for a moment silence thenEVERYBODY CLAPS.)
Jailor :(Smiles ):-Good ! Reshamia … Tum batao..what were the last words of Caesar ”
Reshamia :”Music Please…(and starts singing on the tune  of Jhalak Dikhla jaa)
                        
   Et tu Brutus ! Et tu Brutus !
 Aisa kyun kiya toone , kyun kiya toone , Broootus !
  (ek baar aaja aaja ,      aajaa aajaaa ,    aaaa jaaa)
                       
Cassius par mujhko toh shaq tha ,
Magar  too to Brutus mera dost tha
                      
 Cassius par mujhko shaq tha ,
But too to Brutus mera dost tha
Hai Maar Daala ! Kya kar Daala
Aisa kyun kiya toone , kyun kiya toone , Broootus !
(jailor starts dancing )
 Caesar must die , Caesar must die…Caesar must die , Caesar must die ..”
 (Every body wipe their tears )                    

Rancho: *Smiling*
JAILOR: Aap muskura kyu rahe ho?
Rancho: Bohot dino se Facebook me account banane ki ichha thi...aaj bana diya hai...bohot maza aa raha hai.
JAILOR: Zyada maza lene ki zarurat nai hai...Tell me what is a Post?
Rancho: Anything that is posted on Facebook is Post, Sir.
JAILOR: Can you please elaborate?
Rancho: Sir...jo bhi Facebook pe log daalte hai post hai sir...Ghumne ­­­gaye...photo­ daal diya! Post hai Sir. Match dekha score daal diya! Post hai Sir... Sir actually hum post se ghire hue hai sir! Ek second me comment, ek second me like!

Comment-Like...­ Comment-Like
JAILOR: Shut up! Account banake ye karoge? Comment-Like...­ Comment-Like...
Hey Mannu tum batao,
Mannu : Pictures, texts or videos posted through mobile or tablet or laptop or desktop via different operating system using internet on Facebook is called a Post...
JAILOR: Excellent!
Rancho- Sir main bhi to yahi keh raha tha (and sits with sad face)
Jailor : “LaLoo ! You tell me “3 advantages of NET ?”
Laloo : “NET has many advantages ;
NET hame Malaria se bacha ta hai
Subhe agar NET ka istemaal kare to  Dengue se bacha ta hai
Mosquito coil aur Vaporizer ke paise bhi bachata hai

Madamji “Oh No Laloo ji ! NET matlab Internet not Mosquito Net ! Ye ek aisa jaal hai jo hume poori duniya se jodta hai




Veeru : “Poori duniya se jodne wala net kya hame apno se bhi jodta hai  ? Kyunki APNE TO APNE HOTE HAIN”
 (Jailor moves back and turns towards audience : )
Jailor : Bilkul sahi kaha .,aaj hum duniya ke kisi bhi kone mein apna msg ek pal me bhej sakte hain , kisi se bhi baat kar sakte hain aur kisi ko bhi dekh sakte hain…aur shayad yahi wajah hai ki ab hamein kisi ki chitti ka intejaar nahi rahta ! Faasle to kam hue magar Dooriyan bad gayi .
Aaplog is par vichar kariye aur kahin mat jayiye kyunki shuru hone waali hai GABBAR KI CLASS.

(Jailor takes the copy and march past towards exit)

(continued...) Click the link :-
Gabbar ki Class Part 3
http://sumonto-sumonto.blogspot.in/2017/08/gabbar-ki-class-part-3-curtain-opens.html